Addiction, Anxiety, and Depression

Fast forward a few years, and I unfortunately started down my own path of self-destruction, turmoil, and suffering. From the ages of 10 to 21, I traveled down a troubling, pernicious road of addiction, anxiety, and depression, unable to escape the cravings, recklessness, dependency, obsessions, and emptiness that consumed my whole existence. Many of my days were spent on the merry-go-round of feeling ashamed, apathetic, unmotivated, and hopeless, followed by self-medicating with dangerous substances, isolating, and other harmful behavior. This would make me feel better in the short term (or at least allow me to get a moment of relief), but it would be followed by more destruction and pain, and then followed by feeling even more guilty and lost in the world, and so it goes.

During this time, I was no stranger to treatment centers, therapist offices, rehabs, emergency rooms, intensive care units, jail cells, court rooms, and at the very end, stark homelessness. Fortunately during this time, as a musician since I was four, I still managed to immerse myself in playing piano and guitar, which I believe allowed me to still hold on to at least some healthy ways of coping and releasing the pain I felt. I’ll always be thankful for this. Despite the damage I was doing to myself and everyone around me, my family and a few good friends continued to pray for me, and were always there whenever I had a moment of clarity and reached out for help.

I Found Helpers That Allowed Me To Be Who I Was

Through a disastrous sequence of events, I once again found myself in a treatment center; the same old routine. But this time it was different. For once, I actually felt like my therapist, as well as the other counselors there, understood me and unconditionally accepted me, even when I expressed exactly what I was thinking and feeling – in raw form. I was sick and tired of all the lies, and always having to put on a show in order to get people off my back. I didn’t care that the things I would express may not be what everyone wanted to hear, I was done wearing a mask. Much to my surprise, my therapist did not balk and throw me out, but instead commended my honesty, courage and willingness to be real.

I was then told that I don’t even have to want to get better in order to get better. What?! This was a very novel idea for me, since for the past 9 years all I ever heard was that unless I wanted to better myself, nothing would work. Being that I never had the motivation, I just resigned to the fact that I guess getting help would be futile. Now, I was told something completely different, something that appealed to me. That the only thing that I needed in order to get better, was to want the negative consequences of my behavior and my suffering to stop. That, I wholeheartedly identified with. I didn’t really have any intentions to stop doing what I was doing, for that had become my whole identity, but I without a doubt wanted all the BS that came from it to end. I was told that I can think and feel however I wanted, it was all ok. All I needed was to be honest and to show up. At this point, I could handle this, especially now that I knew I had a safe place to do so.

Through difficult yet enriching self-exploration, I started to become aware of what was going on between my ears and in my heart, and most importantly: what to do about it. As a result of my therapist’s genuine compassion and empathy, as well as the tools that I learned from them, slowly but surely my life started to take a very different trajectory.

I Found Peace And Contentment

Through continuously working hard on myself, I soon began to reap the fulfilling, meaningful rewards of self-improvement. I was able to rebuild many broken relationships, and began cherishing the benefits of sustaining my mental, emotional, and physical health. Through my own continued therapy, support groups, as well as practicing Zen meditation, I began to experience a newfound peace and contentment, free from most of my demons (the ones that never seem to go away I have learned to amicably co-exist with…). From a desolate past filled with hurt, calamity, and feeling lost, I now find myself 13 years clean, loving life, living in a comfortable home that I can call my own, with a beautiful wife and son and three crazy cats.

I Decided To Give Back

After getting my life together, I went back to school to pursue Psychology, as now I was even more fascinated, not only with human behavior, but how people change their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. While life was far from easy street, I knew without a doubt, that even amidst despair and desperation, awakening to a life of freedom, peace, and happiness was possible. After earning my Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology, I pursued a Masters Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling to eventually become a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) as well as a Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor (CASAC).

I Found Myself As A Therapist, In The Same Broken System

At this point, I found myself on the other side of the proverbial desk. While I loved helping others and the work I was doing, I soon became quite dismayed and extremely perturbed by the dismal state of the treatment industry that I now found myself enmeshed in. Agencies and treatment centers constantly prioritizing money and their referral sources over their clients, staffed with underpaid, overworked, and under-qualified clinicians was the norm. People in dire need of getting help, the ones who need it most, completely unable to get help and constantly falling through the cracks, all due to either insurance restrictions and/or the convoluted, “built-to-fail” nature of the treatment industry and social services system. Something has to change.

I Could Change Things; I Founded North Star Counseling Services

This is when the idea for North Star Counseling Services was born. As soon as I was able to, I opened up my own Psychotherapy Practice, with the intention of at least trying to make my corner of the world a little better. Here, I could wholeheartedly ensure that my clients would be valued, respected, prioritized, and given the best treatment I could give to suit whatever was going on in their lives. As my practice grew, it became more and more clear to me just how big of a need it is on Long Island to have quality mental health and substance use treatment that is readily available, personalized, affordable, and client-centered.

Now, my dream of helping Long Islanders like myself in the best way possible is in full swing. At North Star Counseling Services, we now have a full staff of expert, seasoned, and passionate psychotherapists, providing evidence-based psychotherapy to clients all over Long Island every day. Our clients see the difference and experience the value in the way we do things, and it shows by our success rates and client satisfaction.

Located in Commack, NY

We offer in-person sessions at our centralized office in Commack, NY. We also offer telehealth/virtual sessions throughout the entire state of New York. We have a team of over thirty psychotherapists and have helped thousands of Long Islanders live happy and healthy lives. Therapy really works!